bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize