I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
