I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize