I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize