Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
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