there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
