i always forget guys have bellybuttons
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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