I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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