return my video game
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
