Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
