sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize