I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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