Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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