Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Two words: blizzard sex
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
