I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
