I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Randomize
