dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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