Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize