So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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