His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
