girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
