Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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