he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I AM VODKA MAN
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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