You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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