You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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