Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
