She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
