South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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