She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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