Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
