I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
