there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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