So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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