just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
