Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
