I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
What a dumb baby whore.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
