Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
