hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
this hospital has no fireball
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Randomize