At least make sure they are 18
Why
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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