I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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