exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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