So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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