Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
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