his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
