Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
