i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
i out mim tonsoeep
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