i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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