I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
