Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
