Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
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