from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
