where am i from again
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize