She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I can't turn off my feet"
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Randomize
