Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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