I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
