Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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