Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
