I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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